There are several fundamental attitudes and specific actions that are helpful for maintaining good relationships with people.
Listening and Empathy
It's not just about hearing what someone says, but making an effort to understand their emotions and intentions.
Practice Active Listening: When someone is speaking, listen without interrupting. Use appropriate nonverbal cues like nodding and verbal affirmations like "I see," or "That's right" at suitable times. Repeating the other person's words, such as "So, you mean...?" is also effective. This demonstrates that you are genuinely paying attention to what they're saying.
Use Empathetic Language: When someone is happy, share their joy. When they are sad, express your understanding with phrases like, "That must have been tough." By aligning with their emotions, the other person will feel understood and trust will deepen.
Gratitude and Affirmation
Regularly expressing gratitude and positive evaluations of others can make relationships warmer.
Express Gratitude Specifically: A simple "thank you" is good, but being specific about what you're grateful for, like "Thank you for doing X, it really helped me," will make the other person feel appreciated and even happier.
Find and Express Others' Good Qualities: Even small things matter. If you notice someone's effort or a positive trait, offer affirming words like, "Your X is amazing!" or "It's always helpful when you do X." People generally appreciate being recognized.
Self-Disclosure and Appropriate Boundaries
Sharing about yourself in moderation can encourage others to open up, but it's also important to be mindful not to intrude on their privacy.
Moderate Self-Disclosure: Sharing your opinions, feelings, or recent events can help others feel closer to you. However, be careful not to overshare at once, or only focus on negative topics.
Respect Others' Personal Space: This applies to both physical and mental boundaries. Avoid delving too deeply into topics someone doesn't want to discuss or sensitive subjects. Instead of forcing closeness, respecting the other person's pace leads to stronger, long-term relationships.
Problem-Solving and Support
Offering a helping hand when someone is in need or cooperating to solve a problem can significantly strengthen trust.
Offer Help When Someone is Struggling: If someone appears to be having difficulty, ask, "Is there anything I can do to help?" Even if you can't provide a direct solution, simply listening can be a great help.
Keep Your Promises: Even small promises should be kept as they form the foundation of trust. If you can't keep a promise, communicate it promptly and handle the situation with integrity.
By being mindful of and practicing these points, your interactions with others can become smoother, leading to more fulfilling relationships.
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